Come With Me

He is a Jerk

2010-10-10T12:25:00.003+05:30

“He is a Jerk”. Isha sobbed a little more than the previous time. “ …. And a complete bast#$46”. She added. This harmonious recital was for Varun, the most handsome boy in the college and star opener of college cricket team. Once Varun and Isha used to see each other but Varun dumped her on his last birthday. It was the funniest college-talk since then, that Varun asked for “freedom” as his birthday gift.

Isha – She was the most sought after girl in the campus. Almost every guy in the college had a crush on her but being the best, she always desired for the best. Varun was the obvious choice although he was seeing someone else at that time. Isha’s argument was simple – she was the most sought after girl and Varun was the most sought after boy so they were destined together. Varun, on the other hand, was already bored of his 6 months looong relationship was looking for a change himself. He was open for any girl who was stupid enough to go out with him. (Com’on he is a guy) So, he accepted Isha’s offer and the couple could be spotted in the library dark corridors or behind the volleyball court after sunset or in the girl’s bathroom which was no longer in use for next 7 months.

“Enough Isha. It has been 3 months now. Get over him and I totally agree with you – He is a Jerk so lets now talk about him” Ruchi said.

Ruchi and Nikita were the best friends of Isha. The trio had got the sweet nick name of “the evil trio”.

Ruchi seemed to be particularly upset. May be because her friend was upset or may be because she was also dumped by the same Varun. This happened about a month back and she was the reason why Varun dumped Isha in the first place. Ruchi, being a friend of Isha, didn’t want Isha to know about her affair with Varun. She wass after all her best friend. So when she proposed Varun, she requested him to keep it secret which Varun gladly accepted. Ruchi’s take away was the she managed to keep her friendship with Isha while stealing away her boy-friend and Varun’s take away was that he could officially look for other girls while going out with Ruchi. Finally Varun found a new girl just before the examinations. Ruchi blamed Varun for her poor (P) grades but other students of the class believed that she maintained her consistent performance.

“How can he do this to me”. Isha was in tears now. It was a huge set back on her ego and loss of face in the campus.

“Not again” Ruchi said. “For God sake just chuck it now. It is not a big deal”.

“Not a big deal. How can even you say that” Isha revolted.

“I mean, what he did is definitely wrong and for that he will burn in hell” Ruchi explained. Obviously she was thinking about her case.

They both wanted to make Varun’s life hell, but they could not do much on their own. Neither had they support nor friendship of other students.

Nikita was self absorbed in her thoughts during all this time. She must be bored of this daily drama.

“Just look at him. The shameless bast$%46, trying to woo that rich chick from the first year” Ruchi snapped.

Nikita “Where”

Ruchi “Behind that tree in the park”.

Isha “That #$@@$@#* jerk”

Nikita’s smile suddenly disappeared and now she was out of her dream world and was seeing the reality in front of eyes. A tear appeared in her eye and she only managed to say “He is a Jerk”.

Happy Birthday!!

2010-09-29T00:02:00.000+05:30

August Rush

2009-12-07T00:43:00.008+05:30

Dec 7, 2009. An entry in Dhruv's Diary

I never thought that I would fall in love. I have always been that kind of person who used to think there is no thing called love. People meet one another and they take the decision, by using only their brains, about their future life partner. I used to think love as a concept, exists only in movies and fairy tales.

I didn’t realize it while I was with her. She was a friend, a good friend. Does love exist and if exist what is love. I don’t know. But why there is so much pain and everything seems just meaningless because one person is not around. Darkness is the proof that light exists. Pain and loneliness made me realize what I missed and or lost.

This is the rest of the post

Richa came for the dinner and she liked my feeble attempt. She was happy because finally I did something for her. It made me happy. But then after some days she stopped returning my calls. This is how it happened, rather ended. I didn’t get to know why and how it ended. Every other thing in life is just as same, still it does not feel the same. May it is love and it does exist in real.

“August Rush” is her favorite movie and she insisted me to watch this movie and I always used to forget. I have seen it now, 4 times, actually every Saturday after she stopped returning my calls. It is a nice movie. It is about a boy who find his parents by his music and two lovers who find each other also by their music. Sadly, I am not a musician or an artist or even a writer. It is a fairy tale setting where people do live happily ever after in the end. (Guess, something does only happen in fairy tales.).

It just feels nice, whenever I watch this movie. The only thing she left to me. It is like feeling her presence, may be she is watching me whenever I see this movie. This sounds weird so may this is love. Now it is my favorite movie rather my favorite part of the week. Though it takes great amount of perseverance not dialing her number, I am doing a fairly good job.

I am going on with life as before, meeting friends, etc. Life will go on and so will I. I don’t think it is necessary to get over her. She may not be around but now she is close to me. “Once you are here, you are never gone”. The winter wind seems to consoling me with its cold touch. It is true that love does not make the earth go round, but it certainly makes the trip worthwhile. I used to term these as crap just month ago. Not any more, rather, it makes more sense than anything else, to wait for her.
Right now, FM is playing,

“Tere Bina Zindagi se sikwa to nahi, tere bina zindagi zindagi
Tere bina zindagi bhi lekin, zindagi, to nahi”

How True.

Surprise

2009-11-03T23:06:00.004+05:30

She must be here any moment now. Dhruv is planning a surprise for Richa. Actually, not a surprise. She forced him to plan a surprise. She granted him 48 hours, Monday and Tuesday. Generous! He wanted to do something for her for a long time but it never happened. He was having a rough time at work, with project deadlines and other engagements. This time, he was having client visit on Monday, but she did not listen. Now, this is one chance, he has to impress her.

We want to do something perfect and like it happens, nothing seems perfect so we just keep postponing. We fear to take chances. It is true; nothing is perfect unless you love it. ‘She may not like it but it is better than nothing, and who knows it may turn to be perfect.’

As usual, he did not do much on Monday, except for planning. Today, somehow, he managed to leave office at 7 and bought her favorite ‘Kababs’ way back to his apartment. His maid ditched him today, so he had to do the cleaning himself. He thought of many things but in the end he settled for tried and tested way; flowers, food, ice-cream and a small gift. He had a plan. First, the flowers then they sit down and talk in the balcony, then dinner and ice-cream and finally the gift. Cliché, but trustworthy.

(He requested his friend to get ice-cream and a bouquet but she did not need to know this. This is what friends are for.).

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'What he must be doing? He was in office till 7. Hopefully, everything went well in his office. He was really busy. May be I overdid it. I just wanted to make him realize that there is more in life than work. Life doesn’t mean living only in weekends. We start working in order to make a living but gradually the work becomes our life.'

Richa was thinking on her way to Dhruv’s apartment. She had her expectation set to lowest level. She did not intend him to do anything fancy for her. Anything he will do will impress her.

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Oops, I forgot to put those Kababs in microwave. He hurried to kitchen. He was enjoying the moment.

May be next time, I will plan something better. He was slightly nervous only. He checked. Everything was in place. One question remains ‘Whether she will like it?’.

Happy Independence Day

2009-08-17T12:29:00.001+05:30

If you like my blog and wants to read the updates, please start following [just by clicking the follow button and entering your email id] or blog roll me.
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We celebrated another year of independence last week. Many were less enthusiastic this year because it was Saturday. Some, who have 6 days a week, still have reason to be happy for. Nevertheless, 15th Aug is the most important day for India because freedom has come after paying a heavy price.

We, I and my friends were thinking, how we never do anything for our mother nation. True.
Why? Not certain. There are many reasons which can be cited, why even a responsible and law abiding citizen of India, does so little for his/her country. However convincing they may sound, I know that, Love will find its way; everything else will find an excuse.

So many leaders, movies, activist etc try to motivate the general masses for coming forward, to share responsibility in building up the nation. I was wondering, why and where they fail?
Imagine an army in a battle field. Commander of this army, who happens to be a man of great stature and a very vibrant orator, is making a speech how the soldiers must fight for their nation. At this very moment, in the last row, feeble looking foot soldier is trying to sneak out of his rank without being seen. In this example, one powerful man is trying to motivate mass by his words and other hand an ordinary man is setting an example by his action. He is not even trying to motivate others. Still, many will follow him. Action speaks louder than words.

I hope we get enough good examples to follow this year. I want to end this with a prayer which we used to sing in class I-II,
“Humko man ki shakti dena, man vijay kare,
Dusro ke jai se pehle, khud ko jay kare.”

[God, give us mental strength to win ourselves].

Favorite

2009-05-04T12:25:00.004+05:30

Sorry for such long pause. I will be regular from now and also my daily blog will be updated regularly. And yes, all characters in this blog are are fictional. Any resemblance can be intentional but I will not take any responsibility. Enjoy and please leave your comments.
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Sumita entered the room and she heard Dhruv saying “Why does she always do that?”
“What happened?” She asked.
Saurabh replied to Sumi “They had a fight”.
“Again!!” Sumi replied with a grin.

“I am so disturbed and you are making fun of the situation” Dhruv said and he seemed to be bit annoyed.

“Ok sorry. What you did this time to make Nidhi angry?” asked Sumi, trying to hide her smile with false seriousness.
“I did NOTHING” “Ok may be I forgot our anniversary.”
“Marriage?”
“No. Our first meet anniversary.”
“Dude, why don’t you keep alerts on your mobile or something” snapped Saurabh and immediately looked towards Sumi and said “I don’t keep alerts.”
Sumi said with a smile, “It’s ok and I have all your passwords.”

“Guys, we are discussing my problem, and I did set and alert on my mobile phone. In the office I saw the alert and I made of note and put it in the drawer, but then I got busy and there was so much work today. In the evening I just forgot about the note and all. Finally I reached home at 10 pm”

Saurabh said “..and Nidhi didn’t open the door.”

“Yeah” replied Dhruv. He was sad and down with guilt. He continued in a low voice “Guys, I really love her. I don’t go to my favorite restaurant any more because she doesn’t like it. Sometime I watch soaps instead of match. I never complain about her endless shopping. I gave up so many of my favorite things for her. Sometime I miss doing those stuffs but then I think she is more important. I wish she ..”

Sumi, took Dhruv hand in her hand and replied softly “We all know you love her. Nidhi also knows that. Just that she also gets irritated when she misses her favorite thing”

“And what is that..”

“You”. She replied. “spending time with you, shopping with you and watching soap with you.”

Dhruv looked puzzled for a minute and then he rushed towards the door. He just said “Guys I have to go, and … Thanks guys especially you Sumi.”

“No problem and good night buddy”.

Dhruv left the apartment rushed down the stairs and as he headed towards his own apartment he knew what he had to do. He knew though someone was angry , she was still waiting for him, very eagerly.

Change

2008-12-22T17:37:00.006+05:30

Change. It is inevitable. Quotes. You will find one for everything and they are so confusing like life. Rarely we understand and mostly we don’t but we use it anyway. This is also a quote. You should speak your mind. If you don't who will. The very next site offers you a totally different quote. Words should be chosen wisely because you cannot take them back. A wound can be healed with time but it leaves scars behind. I don't know whether I will regret writing all this or not but I have to take it out.

I am living away from my home since class V. As a result, I always find my friends closer to me than my family. I spent 6 years in RKMV Narendrapur hostel. There are many things which you guys will find weird about that hostel (school). But for us that was the way of living. I still remember my first day at Narendrapur. There were lots of strange faces and I didnot Bengali which was going to be a problem. My home was an overnight train ride from Kolkata but that seemed to be galaxies away at that time. I soon realized these strangers were just like me, lost and alone. In them I found friends and friendship which totally changed my life. Friendship, which can be valued and treasured for life. After board examination when we were leaving for our homes for one last time, many were crying. But I wasn't. At that time, internet was not so popular among us. So we exchanged phone numbers and address, filled slam books and promised to be in contact forever.

Time passed and I again found myself in hostel. This time it was IIT Kharagpur, a totally different world from RKMV Narendrapur. This time situation was not so bad. I already knew some people and finally the group stuck and lasted through all the ups and downs of our engineering career. Time had changed. This was no longer school where kids used to live. This was an engineering hostel. Friendship at this stage was a total different game which was not the case at school. It was simple there. You like someone or you don’t. Here it was not going to be so simple. Some is casual friendship, some what you can say 'matlab ke yaar' and some friends who were like family. I rarely used to meet or call my school friends but whenever I got chance I tried to meet them. I expected to meet the person who used to study with me in school but time has turned them into a different person.

But that was normal (It was easy to convince myself at that time). A lot of things change after class X as we all know. Adolescence is replaced by adulthood, worries about career, worries about girl friends which further increases worries and increasing differences from your parents. So it was understandable and though I get to meet friends, I still missed friends whom I knew in school days. But engineering friendship is totally different. Character of person has taken shape and it is harder to change now.

So again when I was leaving KGP, I was not that sad like other people. And now we can easily locate each other on mobile and virtual world of internet. And it happened exactly like this. I am in regular touch with a lot of my friends. I supposed nothing unexpected would happen now.

But alas again I was wrong. Change. It is inevitable. All the time I get to hear.. you havenot changed a bit. I just smile and say nothing. But was it supposed to be change. You are not supposed to be changed. I still have a lots of friends on whom I can rely and have lots of fun when we meet. I know (atleast I assume) they will support if I need their help. But they are some what different people. There is some loss of innocence and enthusiasm. We cannot relish on small thing as we used to do before. We hide our loneliness and weakness from each other like we fear each other now. Silent and stupid conversations are no longer meaningful. These things brought us together. With time, we will grow older, marry someone, will have kids. Many things will change but something should not.

Now I guess, I understand why people cry and get sad when they leave dear ones behind. They know things will never be same again. It took me so long to realize what most people knew intuitively. From now on, probably I will take each good bye more seriously because change ... change is inevitable. Should it end this way or we can write a new beginning for this.

Larki Kyun?...

2008-09-30T09:22:00.002+05:30

I also think about it sometimes… (Ok! more than sometime). The thing which amazes me most is that girls think all men, barring their dad, brothers and boyfriends (only current one, ex is the biggest dog); are dog, mean and bas$#@#$. How it can be true because all men are dad, brothers, bfs of some girl. After giving it some thought I come up with two theories which may explain this paradox.
1. They tend to overlook faults of their dad, son, brothers, bfs. (Which will eventually lead to the corollary that all men are really dog mean and bas$#@#$.)
2. Natural defense. Fear is the natural defense. Like we fear all snakes although most of us know that only 5% of the snakes are poisonous and hence dangerous. This is for our own safety because we cannot differentiate between a poisonous and non-poisonous one.

Great scholars have unanimously concluded “No one can understand girls”. Being a mortal, I will not even dare to decipher them. Plus, I studied in boys school and almost all boys colleges. So I am not qualified enough to do so.
I use humorous lines against girls that is only because I find them funny and most of the time they are applicable to both. …just change “she” with “he”. Let me tell you about some girls I know.

She is cuteness personified. She is so pretty that even girls are having crushes on her. She got the best smile in the college. She has got more than 7 shades of nail polish/lipsticks and countless earrings. She is beautiful and she is smart. She is adored by her friends. But she is not only about looks.

She is delicate yet tough enough to challenge guys for bike races. She is the best amateur blog writer I know (she is better than many pros). She can fly plane. She can play guitar. She won many painting competitions (one of her painting is displayed at local zoo). She know Japanese better than Japanese and hindi (may be :D) better than me. She plays football for India (represents Indian team). She is a total genetic freak (crazy about her subject… genetics). From her you should expect the unexpected.

She is so talented yet she is banvri (bawari). Sometime she acts crazy. When she spilt some cheese salt on her dress, she literally ran away (although it was not so noticeable). Oh! She calls the small pond near our office, Mansarovar. She likes solving silly puzzles in train. Her voice is like a kid and loves to prank and to be pampered. She plays Unreal/Quake and jumbles on DC++ too. And she liked “Jab We Met” so much that she has watched this movie several times in multiplexes, ALONE.
She is girl with many avatars and names, truly like Mohmaya. She sings well. She is like basanti of sholay (kyu thik shik hai na). She is little slow in typing but very very fast in bak bak aur kya bolti hai… She got more than 32k scraps in orkut. And she is very moody. She is busy like managers. In short she is like pappu and she can dance too (she is yet to show the proofs; her dancing pics). And she is kind enough to gift me lollypops.

Ofcourse, all shes’ are not the same ‘she’. They all are different but common in one sense; They are all special. All the best to all of you. And the two very special girls , I know, have one more thing in common. They, both celebrated their birthday yesterday (29th September).

Wisdom

2008-08-13T10:39:00.001+05:30

When I opened my eyes for the first time, I saw light, people and this world. Before that I was free from the limits of mind, a state where you have nothing and you want nothing … not even peace. I knew about nothing and I wanted to know nothing and then I opened my eyes and I grew wise.

But that was a tough time. I was totally dependent on others. If I wanted to go somewhere I had to tell someone to take me there. And that was not easy; they did not always understand what I used to say. They used to first check my diapers and a series of guesses used to follow. Sometime they even used to take me to totally opposite direction. After sometime I realized my legs are strong enough to take my weight and I took my first step. I was ready to go places. I grew wiser.

Soon, it was evident that I had to learn their language for a proper communication. I do not remember my first word but they had a long debate on what was my first word. Anyways, I started learning language and I grew wiser.

Then on one fateful day, my parents left me at some weird place, full of intelligent guys like me and some stupid grown ups who even tried to teach us. We used to make fun of them, laugh at them and surprisingly they used to find it cute. But I still hated that place. In the evening when my mother came to pick me up, I ran and hugged her. I was crying and she tried to make me quiet by presenting me my favorite chocolate. That day, I realized there is something sweeter than my favorite chocolate.

After that I had a series of myth-busters like my dad is superman, my big brother knows everything; I can buy or have anything I want etc.

Then I learnt Mathematics, which adds doubts and divides our faith.

When I was eight I used to get really annoyed when some stupid girl used to come and would say that they want to play cricket with me/us. After some years I understood their importance
(So what she was stupid) and I started liking them but they were no longer interested in playing cricket. I realized the importance of time.

Then I learnt about the rules and this was my first introduction to crime.

When I came to college, I realized how good was school days (which I used to hate so much during my school days); when I started working, I used to miss my college days and fun. After marriage, sigh… you know better. Only after exams, I get to know the full syllabus for that subject. With every failure and success, I learnt something and I termed it as experience.

You grow stronger to a certain age and then start getting weaker. We, sometimes neglect the important things in our lives over trivial matters. Now, that I am dying, I have learnt a great deal and have enough experience to do good and right things. But I do not have the strength and time. Why Life do this to us? When we are finally capable of understanding things in a better way, it stops. It is stopping for me. I can feel my eye lids getting heavier. So, all my wisdom will of no use to me or to anyone else. At this moment, I realizes, ‘Ignorance is bliss’.

PS: Jokes are only for fun, do not take it as my chauvinism.

Ripples

2008-07-28T10:46:00.003+05:30

That day, I was throwing pebbles in the water. My mind was wandering.
First thought:
Why I am throwing pebbles in the water. What I want to achieve from it.
# I don’t like pebbles and so let’s throw them all in water.
# I read and likes the story in which crow was able to drink the water from the pitcher by dropping pebbles and I want to experiment it first hand.

Neither.
I have just felt like doing it, without any motive, without any purpose but I certainly wanted to do it.

Second thought:
Is it Newton’s third law or first law? Some water splashes but then certainly upon action of a force, motion has started into the water. I guess momentum is also conserved. Confusing.. leave it.

All this thinking drew my mind from throwing pebbles and I started observing the pattern of ripples.

Pebbles touch the water surface at one point but it affects the whole pond. Ripples starts from one point and move outwards, growing bigger and creates vibrations to it whole vastness. Sometimes two opposite waves cancel each other and sometimes they add to conjure a bigger wave.

Third thought
I don’t know how and when it started but I started making an analogy between this silent pond and our society.
Our society is like a big silent pond and our actions are like pebbles. Repercussions do not end there, even if that action is limited to two people. Stronger tries to subdue the weaker. He assumes that weak ones cannot harm him. What he forgets, is that, he cannot remain strong for ever. No one can win all the time. Even the best of the best are defeated. They fall. And if they are making fun of someone, they will get it back, in return and may be with interest. May be they are strong, they are the best but the people they love may not be. If he ridicules someone in his ‘superbia’(call it angry stone), it will be like throwing a stone in the pond (society) and ripples are going to affect him back or will affect his loved ones. Like wise if he helps, consoles, thanks someone (call it happy stone), he will be again creating a ripple in the pond but this a good one. It will touch others they will feel happy and happy people do good things.

This world has a lot of problems. Sadness prevails everywhere. We do not feel safe anymore… anywhere.
May be we can change it. When people talk about changing the world they talk about big problems with bigger measure to curb the problems. I differ. I think on line of principles of ‘soft computing’. I think about small things. Do small things. Do not insult someone because he is not as good as you are. Respect others. Accept them as they are. Throw happy stones and not angry stones. It will make others happy and happy people do good things. And remember ripples do not die easily. They will touch you back in some form.

And like throwing stones in the water, I wanted to share this with you all, without any motives .. without any purpose. I just threw a stone in the water.

My daily blog link

Survival Instincts

2008-07-21T11:10:00.002+05:30

Gunshots

“Firing has again started” says Vyom, aloud but only to himself. He is the lone survivor of that safe house. Sometime back, violence has erupted all over the country. Two strong organizations have claimed themselves as the ruler of the land and they are fighting against each other and government for power control.

Vyom has very little supplies left in the safe house. A stray bullet can finish his story anytime. Sometime he wished for it.

Living alone hopelessly becomes difficult that death seems peaceful. His hope is diminishing and only miracle can save him. And miracles do happen. Or that’s we believe.

Yesterday he saw Tanu, lying unconscious outside the safe house and he brought her inside, the safe house. He knew Tanu. They were friends, used to hangout together. Tanu is still unconscious. Vyom have seen many of his friends dying in front of him. This time he will not let it happen. He does not want to be alone again. He will take Tanu to government military camp, located out of the city or will die trying. He will save Tanu.

She is coming back to her senses now. Compared to gunshots, her voice seems musical to Vyom. Vyom consoles her that she is safe now. Vyom can feel his hope and strength returning.

For two days, he feeds her and cleans her wounds. They do not have much time to spare. Enemies are closing in. And they have no food… no choice. Vyom cannot see much beyond his safe house boundry. He asks Tanu to suggest the best strategy to go out from the city. Tanu is still scared. Beads of sweat on her forehead and no coherency in her talks. Vyom holds hand in attempt to assure her that everything is going to be okay.

Suddenly Vyom notices a white cloth belt sort of thing on Tanu’s waist.

He jumps off the bed. Takes out his revolver and aims it between the eyes of Tanu. Vyom bellows in anger “What’s in your waist”.

Tanu, who is too scared to speak anything, moves her hand to her waist.

Vyom speaks in hatred “That is bomb,right”.

Tanu mumbled in fear “No No”.

“Stop it” and without giving her any chance to prove anything he pulls the trigger many times.

Gunshots and that harmless piece of cloth is getting red by Tanu’s blood.

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My daily blog...

Lost

2008-02-06T02:27:00.004+05:30

She is still awake. It is already 3 am. She looks towards Abhay. There is a smile on his face. Is this due to a dream or is he still thinking about her, she wonders. She gets down from the bed as quietly as possible. Abhay shrugs as she tries to pull herself out from his arms and his smile disappears momentarily, but quickly he returns to his blissful state. That smile is too mesmerizing for Jas. She has never felt like that before. She watches Abhay sleeping for some more time then she turns towards the window. The cool summer wind is giving her a gentle shiver. Slowly she picks linen from the hotel floor and wrapped it on her body and hugging herself she starts walking towards the window and pulling her neck up, she allows the breeze to play with her hairs and memories starts clustering her mind. Today is Abhay’s birthday and tonight was her gift to him.

Jas is not her real name. She adopted Jas from Jasvinder, her real name. Right from her adolescence she was aware of her beauty. She never had problems in making friends. Abhay was just a normal character in the college but good in studies. Naturally, Jas was not even aware of Abhay’s existence in the college. After college, Jas felt a pang of reality. With beauty, companies were also looking for qualifications. But in the end she managed to get a decent job. There she met Payal.

Payal was also in her college, studious but not happening, the kind Jas and her gang always target for their pranks. Here, she was Jas’s only acquaintance. So Jas and Payal started spending time together. Payal helped her Jas out with everything leaving behind the pranks of college days. Payal and Abhay were very good friends and may be, Payal was having feeling for him. Abhay immediately recognized Jas and after sometime Jas also realized that Abhay was a nice guy. She thought of stealing Abhay from Payal and this did not turn out to be very difficult as Abhay had a secret crush on Jas in his college days. Deceived and lost, Payal moved to different city and different company leaving Abhay totally for Jas. Jas was used of girls loosing to her. But this time she felt emptiness inside Abhay though she managed to keep him allured by her beauty. Jas had never thought that she would fall for a guy like Abhay and now mere thought of losing Abhay make her desperate. Love do make people better.

So she always tries to make him happy and today she tried whatever she could. She looked towards Abhay again, still sleeping and still smiling. She smiles back but then her face stiffens. Memories of Payal are haunting her today. At this moment she feels a unique connection with her, feels her like sisters. She can feel her pain today. Tears of guilt and sorrow, roll down her cheeks. She knows she has lost Abhay, just like Payal did. Payal lost to Jas’s beauty and this time Jasvinder has lost to Jas’s beauty. She starts crying for herself. Payal has a chance as Jas will not be there everytime but for Jasvinder…. she always have to compete against Jas’s beauty and most probably she will lose everytime.

Adieu 2007

2008-01-01T17:08:00.001+05:30

It is said that everyone salutes the rising sun but they are wrong. The title for this blog is ‘Adieu 2007’ and not ‘Welcome 2008’. The sun for 2007 has set (In every corner of Earth). About 37 million heart beats and 5.3 million breathes (we really work hard, just for our survival) accounts for what… one year (2007)… which is gone and in return we have some lawful and unlawful assassinations, people dying every second (and those who are not dead, are busy making this place worse), war for peace, politicians talking and soldiers dying and common folks suffering, jealousy hatred and reality shows. Surprisingly our earth is still standing on its axis.

I don’t know how history will remember 2007. I don’t even know how long this history will remain. Time is so powerful that this vast universe will also perish someday fighting against it.

With each year, month, day … moment we get closer to death, still we celebrate things like ‘New Year’. Try to remember the 1^st Jan, 2007. How you hoped, you wished for all happiness and joy but it did not work. It is not supposed to work. Bet! This year would be the same.

So much pain, so much suffering, so much sadness. Then, why there is so much fuss, why we do not accept our fate and wait for the inevitable.

If you try to find the answer you will not succeed. You can only forget this question. Hope… it is a very small and fragile thing to have yet it is the only thing worth having. Whether we wanted this or not but this is our life. Now it is up to us, what we are going to do with it… smile towards it or sulk over it. The darkness is huge, but a ray will do. Even the best of friends will not stay with us forever. We all are on our own here. They can only help if we try. You can always find reasons to be depressed but most of the time it is just lack of our sensibility. I have seen people who have suffered (in true sense) have a more zest and respect towards life.

The sun is rising again. Let’s make every moment count.

Look more towards people who love you than people whom you love. I love you all (atleast i will try to but only together we can succeed.

Welcome 2008

To Whom It May Concern (2)

2007-12-08T17:32:00.002+05:30

Not much changed in last one year so the title continues to be same. (last year edition)

---------------------------------------------------------------

My dear,

I love you. Yes, I love you and I would like you to consider on my proposal. I know this decision is going to be very crucial for you, so I intend to help in every possible way. I know you are single and you know me and you like me, so the only logical thing which can come to your mind, is the possibility of a happy future life, taking into consideration the good and the bad things associated with me and you will start mulling over it. On the other hand, I do not intend to make this letter a long one so I am leaving the good points, which leaves us with bad points, thankfully they are not many.

# Not so good looking (Ok, I don’t want any comments on that )

Well I think this is good because no other girl will try to steal me from you.

# I cannot take care of myself. My room and habits are all messy.

For this I will need you forever. I cannot live without you for a single day. (I need you because I love you)

# I am not stylish.

Means I am not wasting much money. You can buy your diamonds (ROFL, one diamond in one lifetime) with that and personally I would feel happier if you say that diamond is your best friend or if I see you giggling with your diamond instead of some other guy.

And I haven’t traveled much yet but I like seeing new places so one thing assured, is that I will take you on vacations regularly. And I do not drink. After 40, mostly men party for drinking and as I don’t, so my friends won’t be inviting me much for parties and I will be at your service, totally. And I am a good learner. If you can teach me in some interesting way , I can learn a lot.

Woohoo. Amazing. You are getting much more you thought you can ever get and you can see that I have good sense of humour. Many things will change in life but I will not stop loving you. And one more thing, in this ‘pati-vrata’ (although a dying trend) Indian girl mentality, chances are high that I can find another girl who is totally devoted to me but where can you find another such boy. Just kidding

Tag # 2

2007-12-04T14:57:00.001+05:30

I am thinking about: Manythings, one of them is how to improve my blog template.

I said: Beware of your wishes, they might be granted.

I want to: Play and run and laugh and scream.

I wish: To make the world a better place to live. [:P hehehehe]

I regret: I do manythings which other might think as waste of time and energy. [Bhagwan dusro ko budhi do :P, aur mujhe sad-budhi]

I hear: PC running and people talking.

I am: an intelligent idiot.

I dance: :O. never

I sing : Almost as good as cacaphonix.

I cry: In the rain.

I am not: You.

I write: Because it is challenging for me.

I confuse: With almost everything.

I need: what everyone else needs, acceptance.

#If you reading this line, you are tagged.

#Deepshikha

Tag # 1

2007-12-04T14:24:00.001+05:30

Tagged by Deepshikha

One thing about the person who sent u this

She makes awesome chocolates

(can we have more?)

One thing U hate in urself

To name one, I think a lot…. Sochta jyada hu.. jeeta kam hu ;)

(yeh dialogue suna suna lag raha hai)

Two things u'd do by ur next birthday

#Get driving license

#My daily blog will have 150 posts

(Pretty easy targets… kar lena)

Two things u want to have been changed by ur birthday

#My location (I should seriously think about this because my flat mates will move out anyway)

#Drama in reality shows

(Impossible, I m not sure about the first one though)

Three things u could say to the kid who worships u

#Listen and don’t watch me.

#I am more than you think. ;)

#Grow up!!! :D

(waise yeh bachhe hai kaha :O )

Three things for your soul

#Is it true that you are immortal

#What I, or rather You, were in last birth

#This is my(your) birth number …… ??

Four things for an Ideal lover

#Love

(rest follows… I know I know, I got carried away)

Four things that u have and will give me ….

Hahahaha… u really want them??

# My wit

# My time

# My Advice

# My Ideas

(Still want anything… ?? :d)

Five things u hate in others

# Inferiority Complex

# Treating someone in a manner in which that person, himself, would not like to treated.

# Bullying someone who is already scared.

# Prejudice

# Smoking

Five things u r scared of

# Misfortune

# My anger

# Free fall

# Boredom

# Heights

(list me aur bahut kuchh hai… )

Six under known facts about u

# I generally don’t lie

# Can flirt

# Have a nice aim

# I have no gf and never had any..

# I get angry too often

# I am more than you I am.

(Sach ke alawa kuchh nahi)

Six things u want the world to say about u

(Toughest one, because mujhe khud nahi pata mujhe kya chahiye)

# Whatever they feel in reality. Jhooti barai se karwa sachh better hai *sigh*

If you reading this line, you are tagged.

Some Guy I know

2007-09-24T19:59:00.001+05:30

Everyone is special in his own way. But then there is something called general opinion. Fortunately or unfortunately, I met a lot of above normal people. To name a few:

Praveen: who can give complex to even his superiors/seniors

Avinash: everyone wants to be with you and even want to be like you.

Srinivas: one of the most popular characters of IIT Kharagpur

Biswadeep: put him in any group and he will be accepted as most responsible in the lot

Sunasir: cracked CAT without studying

Anurag: quizzing wizard and not aware of his own potential

Abhishek: silent assassin

Debprotim: industrial department stud

Saurabh: became famous in his final year at IIT Kharagpur and now recognized stud.

Rohit: Genius

Joydeep: Happy go lucky. His lady luck is too strong.

Niladri: Don't ever study with him.He will score decently and you will fail.

Shahid: Engineer by destiny artist by choice

Santa: Awarded medal from Indian Mining Society for his 'outstanding contribution to mining industry' plus he can beat me in nfs 5.

Vinay: who needs to be intelligent when you look so great... just kidding.. he is intelligent too

…..

Well, it is not important to write all the names (anyway these names don’t require my recognition or credit in my blog). And also they are not special because they are my friends. But leave them. Stories are also always woven, songs are always sung for extra-ordinary people. In all these story of common man is left behind probably because we all know it too well.

But today’s tale is about a simple guy, some guy I know. I spent my four year with him, 4 long years. I know him too well. He can be read easily like an open book. He bugs everyone a lot even for his small decisions.

“Kya jee yeh thik rahega?”.. his very typical dialog … “HAAN BABA… THEEK RAHEGA”… used to be my nth response.

But what he lacks elsewhere, he makes it up by his immense zeal. Whatever he wants he eventually get it. Not because he is lucky but because he will keep trying for it for it.

His enthusiasm is unparalleled. Very recently he fell in love. Someone built Taj for his beloved what does he do? What makes his love story so special? Nothing!!

Once a monthly recharge of Rs 300 was enough to cover his mobile bills but now he requires a recharge of 300 every alternate day. So he talks a lot with his girl, must be good in talking with girls. No! He is a very shy person and all credit goes to that girl who tolerate him (yes in the beginning it is irritating but then you get used and he is addictive). One day he was talking with her and he thought he should meet her. That evening, he set to Jabalpur (1313 km from Bangalore) without any preplan and reservation to propose her. He spent less than 10 hrs with her there. Funny guy. Is the same person who used to be confused even on smallest decision? Probably this is love. I give lectures to others on love but he just awed me.

So friends! Here I present Amit Anand, his simplicity is his specialty. And for this Amit Anand, today I, legendary and ‘mahan’ Bhav bow in front of you.

BTW, he plays flute. Check my orkut video or this link.

Keep checking my daily blog.

Happy Holi!!

2007-02-27T13:09:00.000+05:30

Yesterday while searching for Holi pictures, I came across the most amazing picture. It seemed to be ordinary in the first glimpse. In the picture one couple was trying to color each other. The girl in the picture was smiling and she was busy in coloring her beloved. Her face was slightly tilted away towards left giving the feel of shyness. Both hands on the face of her boyfriend’s face trying to color him so well that not only his face but his soul also get colored. The guy (like a typical boy) had a mixed expression of eagerness and irritation. Girls have this habit of rubbing colors again and again to their loved ones while boys are more interested in other girls. After all your girl friend/wife will always be there for you, holi is the occasion which can be utilized. “Burana mano holi hai”. Ahh! I like this festival.

Anyway, let’s come back to that picture. So what was so special about it? Both the people involved in this picture were blind. They can’t even see the colors. God in His own wisdom has not given them what we called is the most wonderful thing… SIGHT. But instead He has given the .. SPIRIT. How unlucky we would we if we lack this jest. That picture made my day and so I decided to share it with you fine people. May this festival bring out all the colors for you. I have borrowed the seven colors from rainbow but the most important color is love and you have to find it within yourself.

HAPPY HOLI!!!!

Holi song for all of you...

"mere rang me rangne wali.. pari ho ya ho..pario ki rani"

Fa(il)ling in love

2007-01-22T18:17:00.001+05:30

He is standing on the tallest building around. In spite of all measures taken by security department, he managed to get on the top of this 500 m tall building and he is about to JUMP. He is unaware of the surroundings, it is dark both inside and outside. He has lost his love, his only love and all his hopes. He loves her more than anything and after 2 years of relationship, she said “Sorry, we don’t have any future together”. Stunned and this came out of his mouth unconsciously “What! I don’t understand, what went wrong”. Her immediate reply was “Exactly! This is your problem. You never understand”. He let her go at that time, but he pledged that he would make her understand, how much he loved her and no one else can love her more than him. He cried; people showed sympathy. Tired of other sympathy, he started smiling, keeping his sorrow inside; people thought he had forgotten her. All this has led him to this moment – On top of this building.

He says his final words to her “Good bye” and jumped. Chilly wind starts hitting his face, forcing him to close his eyes. The falling sensation is making his body numb. In 10 seconds he is going to hit the ground. What he has missed was the air drag which has increased considerably by his open arms and loose clothes. He starts thinking about her. He is sure that she will feel sad; he wants to make her sad for leaving him so that she can realize that she did a mistake. A smile appears on his face. His conscience replied “Is this what you call LOVE”. He argued logically. But at that last moment he is not able to cheat his conscience. Why not! Cheating own conscience is the easiest thing to do. For the first time, he not only forgives her but instead he is feeling guilty. One thought leading to another and in those 5 seconds his whole life flashed in his mind. He hated all those who were unfair to him. But then there were many instances when he was unfair. His eyes are still closed but there is light now. The meaning of love and friendship are clearer than ever. He remembers the kindness shown to him, which he has often overlooked. Love is not in life time commitment, it is in moments. She cannot marry him does not mean that she does not love him anymore. She does. Being together is not everything and if it is everything he already has 2 years of it. If those 2 years means nothing then probably after spending 50 years together he will think like this only. Love is when and what you feel. He cannot die. He has to live for those people who love him. His mind is totally clear now. In the beginning he has opened his arms in submission but now his arms are open to embrace. His face calm and eyes still closed.

But he is falling. Falling at very high speed. This falling seems familiar. He has seen himself falling many a times in his dreams. His eyes still closed. And he is thinking “It has to be dream and now his eyes will open and he will find himself lying on bed.. and from tomorrow, he will set everything right. Actually everything is already right. Only his mind was full of anxiety which was getting projected in the real life and now that is all gone……………………………” THUD!!

To whomever it may concern

2006-11-20T01:30:00.002+05:30

Height of flirting: To write a love letter with title to whomever it may concern. But it is not exactly like this. Actually I wanted to write a love-letter but I have no one to write to so I preferred this title. And, moreover I don’t want to break any heart, so let it be like this only. Again! You people are wrong, jiska naam likhta dil ushka tut-ta.

For quite a few days, I wanted to say you something. But I was not able to structure my feeling in words and secondly I was not sure about your response. So going by the age-old method, I am lettering this to you. I never thought that I will ever do it, but now today I am going to do it. Hey! Wish me luck.

From the day we met, I liked a lot of things about you. I liked your sense of humour, your style, your dressing sense even the pictures you put in your avatars at different places. I used to think that I like you only because of all these. I liked thinking about you all the time. In every moment I used to think if you would have been here how you would have reacted. Even while watching movies, commercial or cricket match, I always wished you to be with me. I used to think your funny comments would have made it more interesting. At sad moments also I used to think that your words can inspire me. I used to think that I want to be with you because you are interesting and inspiring.

Then, one day I was thinking of some joke [that too to tell you] I remembered a really stupid joke. The joke goes like this- Santa singh goes to doctor and told him that every bone in his body is broken. Doctor asked “tell me exactly which bone”. Santa pressed his index finger to his thigh and told see it hurts, so thigh bone is broken, then he pressed his index finger to hand bone and said it hurts too, so it is broken too and likewise he repeated this process and he concluded that all his bones are broken. Then the doctor replied “Stupid, you index finger is broken”. Until that day, I used to think it as a stupid joke of stupid Santa singh. But that day I realized if we think as metaphor this is not really a stupid joke. Many a times we fail to realize the most obvious thing. I suddenly realized that day well it not the whole body it is just the finger .. means it is not everything you do or put I like. Actually it is the finger i.e. you. I like all these because you do it. It struck me like an arrow but suddenly everything was making more sense… so much sense.

From that day everything changed. Life became more beautiful. I tried to say everything to you. May be I said and you heard it too. I don’t think that you are the most beautiful girl on this planet; I just think you are more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the world and I feel it in my heart, in my eyes and in my mind everywhere. I want you to give me the permission to buy everything you want in this life [of course as much we can afford]. You may think like that you are not so stupid to accept me as your life partner. But who told you that wise people never make mistakes. Equally not every time fools make mistakes. For once, be a fool do this foolish thing and I assure you that you won’t regret it. If ever there was a reason I had already forgotten it and now I don’t know why but I love you and I will love you evermore.

Just be mine. I long for your company, your touch, your voice but right now I am waiting for your answer. Take your time but please don’t take too long to decide because I am holding my breath.

Kolkata: This weekend

2006-09-05T10:56:00.002+05:30

Ok, I want to write something in my blog. I want to write something, anything. There are many topics in my head [knock knock… yes they are there]. But it is always hard to break the silence. Forget all this… there are many issues like.. I know I have to change my blog template.. I want to write about my final days at Kharagpur, my childhood and about beginning of this new phase in my life. Instead of all this I am writing about two general things. First about Kolkata [there is better sites to get information about this city] and second about my this weekend [there is no twist and turn in my life and here in this city I have spend most of the time at three vertices of a triangle- Office, Flat and City Centre].

This is my 7^th year and second innings in Kolkata. These two phases are completely different. Only thing in common is me… ok two things Kolkata. Enough about Kolkata, lets talk about my weekend. Saturday “Lage Raho Munnabhai” then lunch then afternoon nap, evening tv, computer games and then dinner and then finally at 2.30 am to bed. Good night. [what!! This much only.. nothing special]. I told you, I am writing about two general things. Ok now back to Kolkata. Many people don’t like Kolkata. Some think that Kolkata does not deserve to be a Metropolitan. For me I like Kolkata most among all the metros and A1 cities [why??? Err… I have never been to any other metro]. Kolkata once called “City of Joy” is now considered to be a dying city by many.

Like all other metro, it has a lot of shopping complexes and multiplexes, science city, aquatica and many other fun joints. I feel what makes Kolkata different than other cities is its culture and its people… BENGALIS. Now I am not a believer of fact that “Bengalis are more affable” nor I believe that they are “annoying and argumentative”. I just think [being a good student of statistics ..Ahem Ahem] that like any random population it is a mix of good and bad people. But their love for their culture is amazing and Kolkata can never be a dying city because Bengali carry this city in their hearts.

City Centre is the best multiplex as per me. It is has lots of space, some good snack joints and one Inox. Food in pizza hut, kfc, restaurants is all same as other places but food in road side is definitely bong’s favorite and I like Bengali food. I like fish, I like rice. [fish and rice comprises half of Bengali menu]. Transport is cheaper in Kolkata than other places and working class in ruder [both thanks to government]. Huge traffic, but at least a bit saner [only somewhat]. Saltlake, where I live, is a newly developed suburb of Kolkata. Now many companies are opening up offices here - fuelling a demand for more residential and office space and with constant pace this city is also growing [So no scene of dying city anyway]. The heart of city is the older part of the city that is central Kolkata. Oh I almost forgot about my weekend. Ok so Sunday. No movie.. nothing special to do. My flat mates Biswadeep and Javed were planning to go out with Reecha and Madhurima [same company]. Apparently they all had some work and they asked me care to come.. I said “Why not”. In spite of my long stay at Kolkata I have never seen much of it. Kolkata and my weekend are coming together.

Now I have heard and read about girl’s shopping, and I always thought that guys exaggerate this. But sadly I was going to know this in hard way that not all hearsay is an overstatement. We three guys were as usual a little late and girls were on time [after all we are talking about shopping]. So they move ahead and we planned to meet them at Crossword [suggested by Madhurima]. It was nearly 12 and we three were very hungry. Crossword seems to be a strange name for a restaurant but I am already been deceived once [there is one restaurant named caught and bowled and I thought it is a bowling alley]. Taxi, in Sunday traffic took about 50 minutes to reach Crossword from city centre. Javed spotted Reecha in Crossword [certainly it does not look like a restaurant]. All I can see, were books but I don’t loose hope that easily. There must be place to sit and eat inside. Just my worst fears [ok I exaggerated] come true when I stepped inside and realized this is actually a book store. But, actually a very good bookstore. Nice collection, great ambience and some cute faces around. But still I am hungry. I pleaded to Reecha “Jaldi karo”. Her reply was “ Aise bologe to kaise chalega … abhi to aye hai” [remember this dialogue.. you all be hearing this a lot in your lifetime]. Even hungry bhav liked that place. So many good books. Biswa bought a book for his mother [he hardly took 10 mins]. Reecha and Madhurima took another hour to select their books.

Well by this time, all were hungry and we were looking for restaurant. It is said a desperate being usually make a bad decision. We did the same mistake. We ushered into the first restaurant we were able to see. Not so good food [End of story].

It was a fine sunny day. But suddenly rain started and we went inside one posh saree store. I took Biswa’s mobile and started playing car race. Yupiee I made two new records and the girls find nothing good enough to buy. By now it was raining hard and it was decided that we to go Metro-Plaza [another shopping mall]. I was amazed how quickly girls collect information about the shopping centers. In 20 minutes we reach there.

Time nearly 3 pm. One hour passed. By this time I have seen the entire metro plaza. I came back to my group. Reecha was looking for a pair of shoes. She was all alone and yet unaware of that [because she was totally engrossed in shopping]. She tried all the shops in the shopping center and she liked just one pair of shoe. But it was not available in her size. She tried many [in which I also suggested some], but she was saying this is not perfect [how come only girls know what is perfect, how they realize the perfection]. I was surprised to see that girls actually see in mirror that how the shoe fits. C’mon! You can see how the shoes in your feet look by our own eyes. Just to help Reecha I said that I have been working with you for 80 days now and I have never noticed your shoe or sandals [Encouraging words… still they were not enough]. Meanwhile I liked one Greek Goddess type dress which on display outside a store and I made 2 new records [car race]. Madhurima has bought something.

So finally at 5 pm we were leaving around 500 pairs of unwanted shoes and metro plaza. Javed left at this time, and we four head to Esplande. We took Metro. Now metro is something which is pride of Kolkata. Delhi has metro too but Kolkata metro being the first metro is India was built with love and pride and it can be seen too. Esplanade is always crowded but today it was much more than the usual. Ohh. We forgot that Puja is coming. Another thing, which makes Kolkata special in this time. Bata now and once again Bata failed to please Reecha. Madhurima was looking for Shirts. Rain was making things more difficult. Madhurima bought a couple of shirts on Biswa’s suggestion. I think she was getting tired now, so she was quick.

Then we moved for Shreeleathers store. My god!! There is a queue outside this store and a very long one. People are entering in a queue. Strangle me to death but I won’t enter this store. Then we entered a smaller shopping complex. This place is also too crowded. It was hard to breathe there but the usually slow girls were really fast and I and Biswa were the one who were lagging behind. Finally we found a shoe store there too. Reecha was finally found her perfect pair of shoes [really strange how these girls realize that is something is perfect]. It was 6.30 pm now but totally worth it. Reecha was explaining to me that her why she took so much time in selecting one shoe [incomprehensible for me]. Really Girls have perfected the art of shopping and they are the best. BEST. [in shopping]. All were very tired by now. We decided to return [Oh! I now remember.. why I came today with Biswa. He told me this place called “Coffee house” serves some great chicken sandwiches]. So after all this I am not getting the sandwich. I don’t like this majority wins rule.

Near Sovabazar, while waiting for auto, I saw one an old house. That house made me think. What this house must have seen in all these years. 50 years back it must have seen that broad road being built [which is now not all able to sustain all the traffic at rush hours]. Kids at that time must have clapped when they used to see a car from their windows and now people living in this house must have got the habit of hearing loud because of the traffic noises. Anyway, we got auto soon. Like this Kolkata, this world, even the universe [see what happened to Pluto] and our lives are changing.

If you still reading this line --> Thank you. And I had a great day thanks to Madhurima, Reecha, Biswa and Javed.

tagged again!!

2006-05-07T23:27:00.001+05:30

Tagged by Curiosity

*Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
[I have to get up.. ahhh] Notice there are two embedded double quotes in the string.

*Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Everything I need for next 12 hrs is there.

*What is the last thing you watched on TV?
India Pakistan Match

*Without looking, guess what time it is?
10.15 pm

*Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
10.41 pm

*With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Thank God!! Nothing

*When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
For dinner about 2 n half hour ago

*Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My blog (New) template

*What are you wearing?
Full t shirt n 3/4^th …or whatever it is called.

*Did you dream last night?
Yes. Had a very weird dream.

*When did you last laugh?
In the evening.

*What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Spiders and their infinite webs.

*Seen anything weird lately?
Yeah. The dream.

*What do you think of this quiz?
Easy going ……so a good one.

*What is the last film you saw?
V for Vendetta. Remember Remember the fifth of November.
BTW V is for Voice too.

*If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I will spend it in such a way so that I and others can be happy.

* Tell me something about you[me] that I[who tagged me] dunno.
You know almost nothing about me. First thing first. I am not a very creative person.

*If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would change… I would change EVERYTHING.

*Do you like to dance?
No!!

*George Bush
……………Ahhhh

*Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Too early..yaar. Yeh sab sochne ka time nahi hai.

*Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Hahahaha….

*Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes. But for 3 4 years.

*What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Yaha chaos mat machana. You did enough back there.

*I tag
Samiran
Avinash
Saurabh
Athena
Megha
Chandu
Sunasir

Whoever designed this tag must be an Indian living in US of A.

katzenjammer

2006-04-11T12:13:00.003+05:30

There is an old saying: Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time. And yesterday it happened for the third time. It forced me to write this blog. This is kind of dream-hangover. It is a state where I can not decide whether I am dreaming or I am awake, the phase were all my senses work, my mind works, yet there is so much confusion. It seem to me like my brain is divided into two parts, one trying to create the confusion by building up stories and other part trying to make things logical and reasonable.

First time, it happened, when I was in class 9. Our board starts from class 9. So most of my friends have utilised their year break and have done some advanced studies. On the other hand I was not even aware of this fact that class 9 portions would also be there in board exams. In hostel, suddenly everyone was talking about the studies and board exams (naya naya josh tha…logo ka). I was not able to understand a thing in class or even what my friends used to talk. This had a deep impact on me. No I didn’t start studying hard, I started to have nightmares. I had nightmares like I am sitting in examination room, and I am unable to answer a single question. After some nights it became worse. I used to see that questions are coming out of question papers and kicking me punching me, answer script mocking me. I had similar dreams for about 4 5 days, and then one day I wake up in the middle of my dream. Now I was awake still I had the feeling that I am being haunted by the questions. I knew at that time that this is not possible. Questions cannot come out and punch me, yet I was finding it very difficult to convince myself.

Last year it happened again and this time it was far more intense. I was in home for vacations. As usual, I had nothing to do in vacations and I spend most of my time watching TV. With n channels I was able to watch anything properly. After a week, I had this most weird dream. I personalized all the channels in my dream and they were talking, plotting against each other etc. This idea was so uncanny that I woke up. I still had the intense feeling that everything is going on. I was hearing a lot of noises and different sounds. I put on the light and started trolling in my room. I was trying hard to convince myself that is just a dream but the moment I even tried to close my eyes it used to start again. I was even thinking about that matrix dialogue at that time “have you ever been in state where you don’t know whether you are asleep or dreaming”. This was also painful at that time. Anything related to TV was driving me crazy. I wanted to wake up my mother; I wanted to have someone beside me to hold me in sanity. But then I thought I should not disturb anyone. One part of my brain was trying to be reasonable. Finally all this confusion resulted in puke and I poured cold water over my head and gradually the feeling subsided.

And it again happened last night. I was watching friends’ first season. I fell asleep in between. Suddenly my phone started ringing. I woke up. I saw the time. It was 11.30 pm. Who can call me at this hour? The number was also new. Till this everything was ok. I answered the call. Someone from the other side was asking me about Ishu? Actually it was Ishu’s dad call. He is my department. Now at this time confusion started. As I was watching the first season of friends and I have seen all the season of friends so it was something like that I was watching the history part. I think this was my source of confusion. One part of my brain started creating confusion that I am in my first year and I don’t know Ishu. I started thinking who is Ishu and from where he got my number. Even at this time I was talking on phone very sensibly, “no uncle he is not here”, “he must be in his room and I can go to his room so that you can talk to him”. I was speaking very slowly because of the conflict going on in my head. Gladly this time it was not intense as the other two and so I was able to convey the message.

Has anything like this has happened to you all people, when you know that something is not right still the wrong thing is so real that it is hard to convince yourself otherwise. I had many weird dreams like: playing football with a new strategy which involves the concept of E=mc*c; getting trapped in 2 D mirror; saving Michael Jackson in a cruise; flying a jet plane; reading newspaper in my home; joining the terrorist group, having an illusion in my dream; traveling through a country full of magic etc. But three times I had continued to dream even when I fully awake.

1st april

2006-04-09T12:50:00.001+05:30

No you are not tricked. Just the font is white. select the text by dragging the mouse or select all using ctrl-A.

In my childhood, I always used to hear that there are more than 330 millions god and goddess in hindu mythology, so theory wise each and every day is some festival. But now I know more days than the festival dates, days like valentine’s day, father’s day, mother’s day, sorry day, friendship day, rose day, chocolate day, …. the list is too long. But the first such day which I came to know was April fool’s day. The day is marked by the commission of hoaxes and other practical jokes of varying sophistication on friends and neighbours. The origin of this custom has been much disputed, and many theories have been suggested, but what seems certain is that it is in some way or other a relic of those once universal festivities held at the vernal equinox, which, beginning on old New Year's day, the 25th of March, ended on the 1st of April.

I am indifferent from most of these days, mainly because I have no girl friend. And on first April everyone is so conscious that it is hard to play prank and I don’t like playing serious pranks. Anyway people get smarter and they start extending the fool’s day in order to have their fun. For e.g. some crazy people will send you their wedding cards in March and when you open them …. This year my department decided to give final year farewell on 1^st April. Department put up the notice in every halls of residence but people were confused that is this real or just some prank by some student.

Once I was returning with my friends after a long session of cricket, a girl called who knew me, called me. i forgot the exact date but it was 30 or 31 March. So I was not conscious, plus I had a crush on her. We talked for sometime [sometime for me… but she said she had to go as it was already one hour]. As she was leaving she gave me piece of folded paper. She told me to read it when she was gone. [ I swear I was not thinking anything… neither this nor that]. I just obeyed her… I still had one pic of her, want to see HER (click here)?

This year one of my friends was appearing for a job interview. He called at about 1 o clock that he got the job. Many of people rushed to meet and congratulate him in the hot … very hot summer afternoon. This one is sentimental call, no one can ignore it. People cursed him and after that he really got a job. This time he had hard time making people believe that after that he get huge bumps for both the reasons. Small pranks are spice of life, enjoy it, no matter on which side you are.

Market Buzz

2006-03-28T14:57:00.001+05:30

New template. huh!!!

Last Sunday I went to market. I hardly go for shopping because I am too lazy. But market is always fun. Forget the new stuffs, lots of girl come there [unka to yahi favorite kaam hai], plus there are many interesting people there. “Thou shall listen”… and you will get to hear some unbelievable things. Here is some market buzz for you:

#A group of people (age grp 30-40) talking … (lets call them a b c d…)

A: “nitish jee ke ane se bhi koi fayada nahi hua. Power cut bahut jyada ho raha hai. Garmi ke kya hoga”.

B: (you can call him Mr know all….. why!! You will understand it soon). “nhi garmi me line itna nahi katega” (kyu bhai tumko kaise pata???) (btw line katna=power cut).

C: “chaliye fir thik hai…warna garmi me halat kharab ho jayega bhai”

B: “garmi bhi hum log hi badha rahe hai na”

D: “ha pradushan se”

B: “wooh sab to hai hi… aur ushke sath sath hum log rocket bhi itna chhor rahe hai” (now achanak se rocket ne kya kar dia!!)

A,C,D: (almost in similar tone) “kaise…. Usase kya hota hai” ( I was relieved to know that I am not the only person who was surprised )

B: (with a pleased look, he was expecting this) “dekhiye rocket jo jata hai na to ozone layer… naam to sune hai na ozone layer ka, ushme ched ho jata hai rocket se” (Ayeeinn!!!) “fir yeh ozone gas banana me bahut time lagta hai… aur us ched me se suraj ki ghatak keerne dharti pe pahuch jati hai… jisase aur tap paida ho jata hai” (tap=heat).

( great so suddenly manmade oraganohalogen compounds become totally innocent??).

D: (achanak se) “isiliye sunte hai amrika me ched bada hai”

B: “haan”

B: “waise baat nikli hai to hum ek aur baat batate hai aapko, aajkal suraj ki roshni se log jawan ho rahe hai. Shubah suraj ki roshni bahut achhi hoti hai.”

A: (interrupting) “ha yeh to hum bhi aaj news me dekh rahe the. Kuch log sun clud banaye….”

B: “are sun club nahi solar club jee”

C,D laughs. B joins them.

(I interrupt… here. I saw this news too . These media persons can do anything for making and selling news. It is true there is a solar club where people are watching sun in the morning and they claim this is giving them positive energy, but they are showing it with caption “ek admi jo 63 shal se khaye bina zinda hai”. Though nothing like this was there in the detailed report but they also know if the caption is flashy it sells. Lets go back to conversation)

B: “aur wooh admi 63 saal se khaye bina zinda hai” ( yes why not… he got chlorophyll in his blood).

C, D,A: “are yeh sab tv pe bolta hai… aisa kaise ho sakta hai …. To kal se solar panel ki jagah hum hi let jaate hai chat pe. Aisa nahi ho sakta aap hi sochiye” (they are right… kuchh to socho)

B: “are aap jante kya hai HUMAN ANATOMY & PHYSIOLOGY ke bare me” (wait… human anatomy. The person who thinks ozone layer me whole rocket ke karan is actually pronouncing these words. You should not underestimate anyone)

ACD “ka bole…”

B: “are manushya ke sareer ki sanranchna ko human anatomy kehte hai. Per paudha kaise suraj ki roshni se khana banata hai. Waise hi unka bhi kuchh hoga aur dekhiye abhyash se sab sambhav hai. Baba ramdev ko hi ab le lijiye (for you info, camp of baba ramdev was going in patna at that time). Unka 5 saal ki ayu me paralysis hua tha. Abhi poore bharat ko wooh swasthya ka raaj bata rahe hai… blah blah” (finally he convinced ACD).

One thing leading to other, finally they came to MISS INDIA COMPETITION. In this topic everyone was having the full knowledge.

A: “haa kal dekh rahe the” (good who won???)

C: “delhi hi koi larki thi” (good so you people don’t remember the name. dekhe hi bus kya?)

B: “Ab yeh sab dekhiye paschatya sabhyata ka nateeza hai aur yeh sab galat hai”

D: (almost at same time) “are karan johar bhi aya tha judge ban ke”

B: “are film walo ka yahi kaam hai… fardeen khan bhi tha” ( yahi baat hai… we know it is wrong still we all watch it…. no no I don’t think it is wrong.) “blah blah blah..”.

After this, there was some discussion on regular politics and mobile services (B had knowledge about everything). You will get many people like them. They are everywhere. They are respected in their group and they are entertaining. I would remember this person for quite sometime.

Ei8ht

2006-03-24T08:55:00.001+05:30

[Tagged by her]
I have to write eight things i desire for my soulmate. According to me soulmates are are lovers who are twin souls or like a part of you—your other half. They are two people created for and with each other in mind. Unless they are together, they will always feel empty even in another relationship. Although women often discredit men by saying they only have one thing on their mind, but this fact is over-rated and over hyped.
Just for fact,there is an evolutionary theory which says that "Men are not as reliant on their mate as women are on men, so they may not be as strongly oriented as women to spending their entire lives with only one mate". The woman's desire to have one mate to help raise her children pressures males to be monogamous. If men do not want monogamy, they may end up with a lower quality of woman since the high quality women chose their mate based on his commitment to monogamy. So, follow the rule and then both men and women can be happy. Now the list:
I dersire her to be
*Honest with me.
*Beautiful and cute; attractive and athletic female figure. [she will definitely look beautiful to me.. majnu ko to bhaddi laila bhi sundar hi lagegi]
*Less weighty than me.
*Intelligent [my turn on]
*Tolreant to my stupid and crazy behavior and my continuous talking yet not saying anything. [tuff :D]
*Understand what i like and what i dont.
*Mine. [nhi bhi hui to chalega, "love is just for one time, one true time.."]
*Real, till now she is in my dreams only.

... "bus itni si hai dua.... main jyada nahi mangta" ;)

Tagging....[write if you want]
*Avinash
*Saurabh Kumar
*Samiran
*Megha
*Vini
*Saurabh
*Chitra
*Sandy

2006-03-04T14:42:00.001+05:30

One day I was thinking about the changes taking place around us due to advancement in technology. Surely one can write at least 1 million pages on it. But for now it is hard for me to write a single page. Technology has changed our life style and likewise it has changed the lifestyle of bad guys [for this blog let us group all the thieves, mafia, don who earn money in unconventional dishonest way, into bad guys; purely technical].

Earliest of bad guys came with earliest of civilization, because before civilization there were no rules and laws and when there is no rule or law then no way is dishonest. So in earliest days bad guys were working alone. They used to wait for the right moment and by taking the advantage of darkness they used to strike. After some time innocent people became smart. Now they used to lock their doors and windows. Chances were reducing for our thief and life was getting tougher. To counter this bad guys group together and formed gangs. Their tools were also advancing but the new generation of bad guys had found another easy way of action. By sheer number they began looting people. Innocent people devised new some new things to cope up with this new situation. Police, private security, mercenaries came into existence and their role was becoming important. Moreover they started traveling and living in groups. Number which was the main weapon of bad guys was now in favour of common men. With growing power, the intention of police and mercenaries was also changing. New rules were made. Government, taxes etc came into existence. With new rules, one new thing was emerging and that was “black marketing”. The whole picture has changed now. Bad guys now have more money and more power than they ever had. Another big thing was that, now it was not just for money. It was more now… for money plus for power. Still we are in this phase. Mafia and other great underworld dons have kept their big group united by oaths, religion, loyalty etc and they are having a good time. They are politically connected too. I am again deviating from the main topic. But it will soon see its downfall. Sooner or later this bubble will break. Technology has also advanced so much that it is going tough to keep monitoring the huge network without being detected. It will burst from inside pressure. Next generation thieves will be the one who have out mastered the advancement in technology. All transaction will be done electronically in near future. The one who can find the loop holes or hack this system can collect more money by working alone and he will work alone. Another dimension will be added to it. Now after money and power people will start doing just to prove themselves. To challenge their wits, to satisfy their intellectual lust. They started working alone and as far I can see they will again work alone. Is this the great circle of time? The advantage of anything soon becomes its limitation. Probably this is the course of development.

Being a student of manufacturing science I cannot help considering the resemblance between this and the industrial development. First people used to work in small groups for producing something. Then they group together to increase their production and add variety. Then mass production started and variety was lost. Now again things are changing. The new trend is of customization, personal customization. This has led to smaller companies which are agile in nature to again come to the lime light. Another circle….almost similar four stages.

second Blog:for those who are interested in reading dreams.. read this -> Cutest nightmare

Race!!!!

2006-01-16T00:04:00.001+05:30

This question is being raised from the ancient times and will be raised till the end of the times ….because this is question which can be best answered at the end or after the end. The Question is “What is the most important thing in the life?”. Some say it is love, some say it is money, for some it is desire and for some it is happiness, some go with power and some advocates for pleasure and the most common answer would be mixture of all these. Apparently feelings like patience, fear, pain does not come in the solution set, but who knows. Even the God was not sure about this. In order to put an end to this, HE devised plan. A race was called, in which all the feelings and things were allowed to compete. The winner will settle this question forever. Now we all know, we are not even certain about what we want, so it was decided that whether conscious or unconscious, all human desires will power these feeling. The one getting more power will speed more and thus will win the race. Now this is what happened on the big day.

I was sitting in the front row. Love, Anger, Money, Pleasure, Pain, Lust, Happiness, Power, Popularity etc all were there in best of their outfits. Each connected themselves with the cordless power cord. The crowd was cheering for their favorites, if they have any. Some, confused people like me were just shouting aimlessly. They all will get power according to our true desires. With a bang the race began. Like a 100m run it looks like a tight race. It was hard to say who was leading and people were just screaming. Patience was loosing but amazingly pain was not so behind [God knows what really we want]. But definitely in the leading row there were Love, Money, and Popularity. In order to remove ambiguity about the rash decisions this was decided that it will be a lapped race. Everyone was talking that after the race the mystery would be solved. The race was now drawing to an end, still no clear winner. People were dashing each other, making room for themselves in order to have a clear view. At this moment I realized actually one was leading the race. It was someone whom I hadn’t seen till then. It was Acceptance. He was going to cross the finishing line and … and he did it. He won. He had a clear lead. It was amazing. I ran for him, but people were still shouting for their favorites. I said to the person standing next to me “but the race is over”. He said “no! It is not”. He was not even aware of it. Not only him, it seem neither participants nor the audience had noticed it. Acceptance was looking indifferent as he knew it always, I was surprised in all ways and the God was smiling.

Think......

2006-01-15T11:54:00.000+05:30

I read many quotes because i like to think over them and also to find good status messages...
But this one is long and i like this one very much. Think......

"There are two kind of people in this world; responsible and other irresponsible. Responsible people tries to adopt themselves according to this world, while irresponsible people tries to adapt the world according to them. So all developement depends on irresponsible people."

-G.B. Shaw

Happy New Year 2006

2006-01-01T10:53:00.000+05:30

Here is another End and a New beginning. Wishing You All A very Happy New Year 2006. I am starting a new blog today.

Dreams

Two stories

2005-12-29T23:51:00.002+05:30

I like reading short stories especially folk tales, because of many reasons like

* They have some history and some cultural relevance

*Second and more important, they are not long.

Some of the greatest short stories are not given by master writers but actually they are folk tales. I am going to write two of them [I want to share with you all] from my memory. One is Persian folk tale and other one is Chinese. I hope you all will like these two. If you didn’t it will be fault of my writing.

Long time ago, in a small village of Persia, one man used to live with his servant. One day servant came running from the market. When his master asked him the reason, he replied that in market place he saw death and death was looking towards him with scary eyes. He then begged his master to lend him his fastest horse so that he could go to Baghdad and hide there for a few days. His master granted him permission. After his servant was gone he went to market to buy the ration. There he saw death again. He asked death angrily why he scared his servant. Death replied innocently “I did not mean to scare him. I was just surprised to see him here, because I have an appointment with him in Baghdad in the evening. So I was surprised.”

Second one-> Chinese folk tale. I like this one because this one is romantic and I like romantic stories.

During Chin dynasty when China was growing as an empire, the emperors were worried about the protection of the frontiers from foreigners. So they started building a wall [The Great Wall of China]. Peasants and soldiers were forced to make the walls. Walls were made by ramming. Though walls thus made were weaker than the concrete walls they can be made much faster. The peasants from the frontier villages were forced to work. Sometime around this time, in some frontier village, there lived a newly wed couple. Both used to love each other very much. This man also went to frontiers to make the Wall. There he died due to overwork. The captain of that platoon was a cruel man. He ordered his body to be rammed in the wall itself with the soil. After some time anxious wife came to the work station in search of his husband. Everybody knew that she love her husband very much. Just by thinking how heart breaking it would be for her, nobody dared to tell her the truth. They just said that he was not working with them; ask at the next work station. At the next work station, she got the same reply. Her tale always preceded her and she was getting the same reply at all the workstations. Everyone thought that someday she would get tired and return home. But she kept on walking continuously. She walked about 100 miles along the wall. Her tale was getting famous. Then at someplace when she asked someone, he mocked her back that your feeble husband was dead and his dead body was rammed in these walls. It is said that after listening this news, she neither screamed nor cried. Only one drop of tear fell from her eyes out of love passion and anger and this drop created a big hole in the “Great Wall”. She turned around, walked a few steps and then she fell on the ground, dead. The place she died now stands a temple on her name and women come there and pray for long life of their husbands. And the hole is still there.

Tagged

2005-12-06T18:27:00.001+05:30

I’ve been tagged by Raja to write se7en things about these

SE7EN Things I Plan To Do [in next 25 days]:

Gain Weight.
Study something for placement.
Play nfs most wanted.
Watch a lot of movies and serials.
Run 2.2 km every evening.
Write at least 10 blogs.
Plan the resolutions for next year.

SE7EN Things I Can Do:

I can play a lot of games.
I can listen to introvert persons for hours.
I can understand others.
I can do one thing for hours [ esp watching movies, serial, playing games and obviously talk]
I can surprise you.
I can remember my dreams [not all but many].
I can make good plans.

SE7EN Things I Can’t Do:

Propose a girl
Act smart or responsible in crowd
Read newspaper daily
Stop giving funda to others.
Stop caring about others. J
Remember hard facts [data which make no sense to me] only.
Study religiously

SE7EN Things I Say Most Often [difficult]:

Sahi hai
Yes I understand
Dekhte hai
Ho jayega
Kal karte hai
Tum nahi samjhoge
Thnx

* U can say better in this category

SE7EN Persons I Want To Tag

Avinash [start blogging]
Shahid [start blogging ]
Chandu [ -same- ]
Samiran
Chitrangda
Athena
Yashu

Again A Dream!!!!

2005-11-19T14:04:00.001+05:30

Before going to bed on Thursday, I watched many movies in part. This dream is not very weird, rather normal type of a dream; still I want to write about it. Based on what [as much] I was able to recall in the morning. Main characters of this dream are my friends [my hall mates].

It began like this. I was getting a new house near my college hostel. Construction work was still going on. But there was a function of new house ceremony [supposed to be mine but I was not doing anything]. The location seems to be good for making a Hollywood thriller. Well, now the main story. It was dark and I was just observing the unfinished building from my hostel corridor and was thinking what more could be done. Suddenly I saw some movements in the dark, inside the building. I hasten to the building. I overheard something. Voices seemed to be familiar but tone was low and I was not able to hear them properly. I recognized one of them. It was of Srinivas. When I get inside the room, it was totally empty. I looked around but no one was there. I returned to my hostel and I asked Srinivas about this. He denied immediately but somehow I was sure that he was lying. Following night I again saw some movement there. By this time I was ready to play sleuth. When I reached there, it was different than the last time. It was noisier and I saw some ninjas were fighting with Srinivas and were probably trying to kill him. I rushed in and the little deviation of ninjas’ attention was enough for that man to get away. I too tried to clear myself and there was some action and adventure. I was not trying to fight [weird thing …in my dream at least, I can kick some ninjas], instead I was running and trying to hide. After much trouble [jumps, some diving, some hitting, and some kunai and shurikens (weapons used by ninjas)] I was able to escape and returned to my room. Now I asked Srinivas again what was going on but again he refused to tell me anything. But I found a small parcel in his room. I quietly tucked it in my sweater. When I was coming out of the room I met Ishu. I told him that something fishy is going on with Srinivas. Suddenly all ninjas reappeared and started chasing us. This time I (fortunately..) was quipped with bow and arrow. We somehow managed to get out the hostel and get into the car. I was on wheel and as I am a good driver [have played many car racing games], I was confident. Meanwhile Ishu was also doing well with bow and arrow. Ninjas were well trained and they were dogging us with cars and bikes. After a hot pursuit we came to seashore. I had planned this already. I passed the parcel to Ishu and told him to take the boat and get into the waiting sea helicopter. I was giving him the cover. I was able to unmask one of ninjas in combat. I was surprised to find Malpani in ninja’s dress. Then I asked him what is going on. But other ninjas were back and he got away into a boat and started chasing Ishu. I tried hard to stop him but I was clearly outnumbered. I was relieved to see that by this time Ishu was in the helicopter and Malpani has to cover some distance to reach that point. But helicopter was taking off. I guess Ishu was not sure how to fly a helicopter[common everyone know how to fly a helicopter]. The distance between Malpani and Ishu was decreasing. Suddenly the blades started rotating and just when helicopter was going to leave the water surface, Malpani dived in the water. He was really close by this time and when helicopter was in air, Malpani was hanging with it. Then there was some fighting in the helicopter and helicopter was swinging wildly in air. Just before it was going to crash, Ishu and Malpani both jumped out of it. Now the ninjas rushed to that spot and rescued both. Malpani is our junior and so I told him to explain the situation. After some resistance he finally agreed to tell us everything. By this time I remembered today is my new house’s ceremony. I requested everyone to come along with me. I reached there and first thing I did was that I was looking for the food counter. I was now sure that secret would be revealed to me in a few moments. But one thing I completely forgot, one thing which can alter the whole situation and that was alarm. It was eight 8 am and I got a class at 8.30 am.

In most of my dreams, when I am not able to make up a good ending, I just turn it in another direction. Like in this one what could be such a secret of some undergraduate students which will need involvement of ninjas. I guess I was not imaginative enough so I deviated my dream to food and function. Well this was full of action type dream, with only little story.

Diwali @IITKGP rangoli pics

2005-11-04T19:27:00.000+05:30

Rangoli @Patel Hall

Rangoli @Nehru Hall

Rangoli 3

Rangoli @RK Hall

Rangoli 5

Rangoli @ LLR Hall

Diwali @IITKGP illumination pics

2005-11-04T18:28:00.000+05:30

HI friends...

I m sure u people have fun in this diwali in ur own style. But here in kgp diwali is bit different than other places...Have a look.....

Illumination @ LLR-Hall

Illumination-2

Illuminatio 3

Illumination 4

Illumination -6

Illumination @RK - Hall

Choice.....

2005-10-27T23:18:00.001+05:30

This is my gift; this is my curse; it’s my destiny. Who I am? No I am not Spiderman. But seriously, what makes one what he or she is? Is it destiny or choices we make. I think a person is resultant of consequences of all choices he/she made in her life. Even the smallest of our decisions can affect us in strangest way. Sometime we realize it and most of the time we don’t. But it keeps molding our lives. We are rewarded or punished accordingly. So twins are not alike; even the clones who share the same genetic code will be different from each other. Everyone must have watched “The Matrix”. In that movie one thing which was most stressed was choice and its affect. Whether to take red pill or blue one….whether to take left door or the right one…whether to believe Neo is the one or not. We take small decisions everyday. When we have to make big decision we think over it and we remember it. My life is affected more by small decisions than big ones. I can remember at least 4 of them and I am going to say about 2 of them…the 2 good ones.

When I was in class 4, I met one boy (my father’s friend’s son). We played football and talked whole day and in one day only he became my good friend. I was looking to meet him again. I came to know that he goes to a coaching centre. I told my parents that I will also go to that coaching centre. My parents were happy because this was probably first time I was showing some interest in studies (till now they tell me sometime that you showed some interest in your academics only once). But all I want to spend more time with my friend, academics was not even in my back of my head. This led me finally to a residential school in Calcutta and this changed and affected my life more than I can imagine or understand. Similarly after many years, when I was counseling for iit, we were told to fill one preference form (for allocation of seats in different iits and bhu and ism dhanbad). I filled my preference sheet and submitted it to a guy who was feeding the data in his computer. He told me after sometime that I had made one mistake. I had filled the same option at no 12 and no 63. Now I had to remove one option. The whole thing was taking a lot of time and I was becoming restless. I told him remove anyone (I was thinking…does that matter). But he knew that it matters. He said “No you should think over it and better consult your guardians too”. At that time I knew nothing about computer and its applications. I told him to remove the 63^rd option. I was thinking that it would be easier for him to remove the 63^rd option. I was unable to grasp the seriousness of the situation. I will be placed somewhere according to my preference list, this thing did not come into my mind. Anyway, I got the 12^th option and if I would have asked that person to change my 12^th option I would have been an engineer by now from IT-BHU. I would never be an IITIAN then (I don’t know whether it is good or bad). But certainly things would have been very different. I made one decision. I thought about the comfort of the person who was filling the data into the computer at the time of counseling. I was not looking at the bigger picture at that time. These two decisions were not made by thinking even little of the consequences they lead to, but were made spontaneously considering totally different thing. And these two events are the one of the biggest events in my life. They made me what I am now. How different I would have been… no one can say. But some says it doesn’t matter. You will become what you really are… somehow finally. I don’t believe this one. They say its destiny that drives us. Then what they really want to say is that we don’t make choices, rather choices choose US. They drives us, motivates us somehow so that we choose them. I don’t agree with that notion, but I fear sometime it might be true. You choose for yourselves which category you belong to. And I am sure there must be some events like these in your lives too. I know most of you take big things more seriously than I do. But sometime I am just too scared when I get some options and I had to choose something.

Jara hat ke -2 :Nature or Human

2005-09-24T12:23:00.001+05:30

I like watching Sci-fi movies and sometime they are thought provoking. Artificial intelligence is much verbalized topic nowadays in any Sci-fi movie and in “technological high society”. Ultimate aim of scientists and technologist is to make a complex and intelligent system such as us (human beings). How much time it will take is just an estimate. Anyway, robot companies are try to make robots that will be able to challenge the football world champions and for this they are setting a target of 2050 A.D. Kinematics and dynamics of robots (especially legged robot) is very complex in nature and so this target if achieved will be milestone in development of automated system. But here I want to talk about Artificial Humanoid.

Some day robots will be as intelligent as human beings. Some of the recent developments like blind man driving a car, cloning etc assure us that someday it will be possible. Some day human will be able to create life and intelligent systems. But still there are many things which show how inefficient we are. Human eye lens (one) can act as both concave and convex lens. Humans are still to manufacture that kind of lens and it is just a simple lens. Human body is full of such miracles. Does that prove that nature is better creator than us?

Many of us think that man will never be able to compete with nature. For those people I have some stats. Life first appeared on earth about 3.6 billion years ago and first man appeared on earth not more than 500,000 years ago. That means nature took around 3.6 billions years to create and perfect complex system like human beings. Human have just started. Give them a fair chance and I am sure they will be able to make much better specimen in much shorter period of time. The main problem is artificial intelligence. We can think about abstract things, even we don’t have any prior information about it. Like if I force someone to describe what is SWEGMA@#235 and where it is, he will be able to tell me something about it. He might be wrong but this is something which robots and even super computers will not be able to do. But someday man will bestow this power to machines and then what will be its consequences. Will man will be able to control his ultimate creation or the history will be repeated once again. Nature gave power of intelligence to man and lost control of it. Will the same thing be repeated once again in future? Well, some other time….

Illusion in a dream

2005-09-12T22:13:00.001+05:30

Now this happened last Tuesday. I had a test that day from 7.30 am. I tried to read in the night but I was not able to concentrate. So I decided to sleep at that time (2 am) and I thought I will read in the morning. I set an alarm of 5.20 am. Next thing which happened to me in the morning was, I woke up with the screaming noise of the alarm. I rubbed my eyes and tried to see the time on the clock which was at that time 3 meters away from me. It seemed to me like 7 am. I pressed the spacebar (to stop the alarm) and rushed to bathroom with my brush and paste. I was a little frustrated with myself as now I won’t be able to study and also the fact that I got up late because I was having a nice dream. The day was cooler and after brushing when I returned, I again saw the time. It was 6 am only. I felt better now as I had atleast 1 hour to study (something atleast!!). Now I started thinking about my dream. It was a very nice and a very very weird dream… and I was doubtful that whether I will be able to remember it till 11.30 am. So I decided to write about my dream in brief first. Lolz!! And I wrote about my dream till 6.25 am and then only I started studying for my test. Now don’t ask me about that test but here is the dream. :p This all happened in my dream.

I was sitting in my room. The room was bigger than the rooms we have in iit. There were 3 other people in the room. My friend (I don’t know which one) and a noisy couple (I don’t know what the hell they were doing in my room). Room set-up was like a small common room with only difference that I had my bed in the room in the corner. Now you all know in dreams location changes very arbitrarily. So don’t mind the minor changes which will happen now n then. The boy (couple) was trying to impress his gf by his foolish tales and the girl seemed to be totally impressed and lost in his eyes. The boy told her that he could stop the fan (at full speed) with his bare hands. And the girl's expression was like “WOW”. Irritated by his cheeto-chat, I challenged the boy to prove his words. Now the boy’s expression changed….and he gave me a totally frigid look and ignored me. But I insisted and this lead to an argument and since that was my room I made them to leave my room. I also threatened him that I will complain to DOSA that he is meeting with his gf in my room. At this time, one tall girl, well-dressed entered the room. She was beautiful and she was wearing black jeans and yellow stripped color top(probably, you can never be sure about the colors in your dreams). Her face looked familiar to me and I tried to recall who she was. She was drunk and she looked completely tired. She came and sat down on my bed as the only two chairs were occupied by us. After some deep thinking I was able to recollect who she was. She used to live near our hostel and during my first year’s summer vacation, I came to know her. She used to play with the small kids in the garden of our hostel. We sometimes used to have small conversations. (Nothing like this ever happened in reality and I stayed full time at home during my first year summer vacation). So this whole story was made up in my dream. I then realized that there could be flashback scenes in dreams too. Whatever!, back then that girl tried a suicide attempt (I don’t know the reason and certainly I was not the reason…!!!:P) and so her parents sent her to some other place so that she felt better. Flash back ends here. Now she was totally drunk and was not able to answer. I asked her many times, why she was here but she only mumbled in reply which was not understandable. It was dark outside so I decided to let her sleep there only and decided to question her the dayafter about the whys hows and whats. I had difficulty in recalling who she was…but she seemed to remember me. Anyway at this moment we heard some noises outside and my friend (yes, my friend was still in the room ;)) went outside to have a look. He entered immediately and looked scared. He then told me that DOSA was checking every room ( no he was not looking for that girl, it was just a sudden inspection, my bad luck!). Now we both were scared. If DOSA happened to check my room and if he saw some drunk girl in my room u all know what would happen. (Yeah ! for nonkgpians DOSA= Dean of student affairs). I started praying that somehow DOSA misses our wing. But my friend who had returned with more news told me that he was checking each and every room and there were a lot of professors with him. I shook that girl but she was in deep sleep. Hurriedly I picked her and was going to take her outside the room without thinking anything. My friend screamed what was I doing and I realized yes I couldn’t leave her outside. I put her back on the bed but I was totally freaked out. I started thinking about the alternatives. I thought that I will put lock on door and will stay inside. But this inspection was a serious one and this was not going to help. I then thought that I will put the girl in the balcony (we had a very small balcony in our rooms). Yes at this time my dream’s room has shrunk back to the actual size of my real room. But then my friend told me what if they checked the balcony too. Then I thought that I will put that girl under my bed but still it wasn't a very good idea. Then I thought of a better plan. I let her sleep on my bed but pushed her to the extreme side of it. Then I put some matching colored cloths and bed sheets over her. The girl was slim and just by hiding her feet and hands and head she resembled totally like a pile of clothes. After sometime DOSA knocked the door and the door was opened so he entered. I was acting that I was watching a movie on the computer with my friend. There were 2 other proffs. They walked through the whole length of my room and peeked in to the balcony. Meanwhile DOSA was talking gently with us. He was telling us this was a routine inspection and told me son that your room is a total mess…webs on walls, clothes on bed, tooth brush on the UPS..etc etc. I somehow faked a smile. He left my room and I sighed in relief and thanked god that we are saved. Phew!!. Now it was late. My friend told me that he was leaving and he left. I started thinking, what I should do next. Whether I should stay awake and watch movies and .... her, sleeping the whole night or should I just go and sleep on the other side. In this dual state of mind I came out of my room. There were a lot of people out in the corridor. There was confusion among all about this sudden inspection. One fat man was fighting with an elderly woman (probably his wife). By seeing all this I was totally confused. I began to think that I don’t know any people around here and married people (fat man and the elderly lady) could not stay in my hostel. It was not logical at all. And then I started thinking I had been living in this hostel for 4 years and never ever this kind of inspection occurred. It seemed all illogical to me. I tried to clear my mind and then I realized that …OH!! All these people and this inspection was an illusion and when I thought of this…everyone started to disappear (old and elderly woman too). I gave a big sigh and now I was convinced that no such inspection had occurred in the first place so I was totally safe. At this time, I was returning to my room, thinking about that girl and whether I should sleep or not. Suddenly, this thought clashed with my logic. I started thinking if the inspection and all these people were an illusion then it was possible that this girl was also an illusion because why would a “drunk girl” whom I didn’t know well should take refuge in my room. At this moment I was at my door and then I entered the room only to see my bed empty. I just laughed at myself. Now it was late and since there was no girl in the bed so I went to my bed to sleep (now there was no confusion). Slowly I was falling asleep and I was thinking what this illusion was. From some remote place I was able to hear a low screaming noise.

This dream looked totally real to me when I was experiencing it. So I wrote this in detail….isiliye thoda lamba ho gaya. I will restrain myself from making longer posts in future

हिन्दी दिवस

2005-09-10T09:51:00.000+05:30

आजकल हिन्दी भाषा के घटते प्रभाव को ध्यान मे रख कर सितम्बर के इस माह मे हिन्दी दिवस, हिन्दी सप्ताह, हिन्दी पखवारा या हिन्दी माह का आयोजन किया जा रहा है। मैने भी इस आवसर का लाभ उठाने की सोची। वैसे भी किसी आयोजन का मजा लेने के लिये उसके रन्ग मे रन्गना ही परता है।इसीलिए आज हिन्दी सम्बधित बाते ही करन्गे। मेरी हिन्दी दसवीं तक ठीकठाक हुआ करती थी। उसके बाद हिन्दी लिखने की कभी कोई खास जरूरत ही नही पङी। इसका असर ये हुआ कि हिन्दी पढने, बोलने और समझने मे तो दिक्कत नहीं होती है मगर लिखने मे....ः(। यह हाल मुझ अकेले की नहीं है ये बात भी मै जानता हूँ। एक दिन जब मैंने "मैं जा रहा हूँ" लिखना चाहा तो मैंने देखा की अनजाने मे मैंने “Main Jaa Raha hu” लिख दिया था। सारा कसूर चैटिंग और ई-मेल का है। हाँ, एक बात तो मैं बताना ही भूल गया ईस सेमेस्टर में मूझे हिन्दी मिली हैं। (सर, देवनागरी के स्थान पर अंग्रेजी वर्णमाला का प्रयोग करने दे)।
ईस तथ्य को नकारा नहीं जा सकता की हिन्दी की लोकप्रियता घट रही है। इसके कई कारण है। प्रमुखतः -
1. अंग्रेजी भाषा की बढती जरूरत।
2. कुछ लोग तो बस दिखावे के लिये भी अंग्रेजी का प्रयोग करते हैं।
3. बचपन से मैने देखा है की, हिन्दी में हमेशा आध्यात्म वाली कविताये ही रहती है। वहीं रहीम, तुलसी के दोहे.. । अभी भी हमे यहीं सब पढा रहे है... ः(। अभी तो मधुशाला पढा देते, सर!
4. बोलीवुड की चलचित्रो का गिरता असर और होलीवुड का आगमन।

सभी को इस बात का ख्याल रखना चाहिये की वो हिन्दी बोलते और लिखते रहे वरना भूल जाने का खतरा है। अगर आपको लगता है की आपकी हिन्दी अच्छी है तो आप इसे आजमाये। इन शब्दो के लिये उचित शब्द(हिन्दी) बताये

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Jara hat ke -1

2005-09-04T20:23:00.001+05:30

Inspired from somewhere…source unknown.

I was not busy …just lack of ideas and words and courage (for this blog I need some courage too :P) took me soo long to get my third blog. And also my life is a little mess and so is my room. Now both are in better condition. Well my kritik said, u should improve your beginning, so I am just starting ….

This entire animal kingdom including homo sapiens are divided in two groups i.e. MALE and FEMALE. In case of human beings girls, women, ladies (females) are considered as the fairer sex. I hold the same view. I find girls more attractive and beautiful and cuter than boys (Naturally!!). I don’t know what girls think. For a change lets take a look on other species of the animal kingdom. There are many species and in some species the physical difference between male and females is prominent. Looking the attributes of male and female, it seems Nature has gifted them equally. Female has got the wonderful ability of parturition, and males are gifted with other physical attributes, like strength, beauty etc. Now here comes the catch. In general (I don’t know about each and every species) males are more attractive than females. For example, peacock (male) has the beautiful feathers a wonderful bluish body while the peahen (female) has a dull brownish body and is also featherless. Male cuckoo can only sing. Cock has crown on its head. Lion has the beautiful mane. Male sparrow has the black coat. And there are countless examples (if any one of you know about any species in which female is more attractive then do write that in comments please). Now the obvious question is why this universal rule of Nature was not followed in case of human beings. Human beings may be exception. After all every rule has an exception (this is a rule too and so there must be an exception of this one also :P). Or there is something else. From the recent past, our society has been patriarchal in nature. Males were the rulers. Human beings are smarter than the rest of the animals. So it need more entertainment. Now the kings or the rulers need entertainment. They had poets singers etc in their services. Poets, singers use to write about the beauty of woman because that would please the king. Gradually in poems and songs this philosophy gets stronger that females are the symbol of beauty. Slowly and slowly this impression become deep rooted. Now everyone think females are the symbol of beauty (I change my desktop wallpaper everyday and most of the times these are pictures of actresses or sports-women). This can be the reason for our consideration. For confirmation we have to wait for Martians. (jadoo se puchha chahiye tha hrithik ko :P).

Here I am not trying to make any point. When I came across this idea, I was fascinated (because it was different). So I wanted to tell, or rather share this idea with you all and just have a reaction. For some this idea might not be new and some might not like this idea at all. I leave all this to you. Please comments and let me know how you all feel about this idea. Lastly, I want to say that beauty is not an attribute of some object, rather it is the specialty of the eyes.

The fun I had-1

2005-08-18T02:32:00.001+05:30

Today I was late for my class at 9.30 am again. Though I took all the necessary preventive measures. I went to bed 1.30 am and set a computer alarm of 8 am. So I was sure that I wont be late but I was …..because last night I had a weird dream. My friends know that I do remember many of my dreams and they all are now scared of my dreams. When I tell them I saw a dream last night they ran away thinking that again I am going to tell one.

So last night I was dreaming and when my alarm rings, I switched my speaker off again went back to sleep so that I can complete my dream. As usual it was weird dream and I don’t remember it completely either. It started at a railway platform where I met some old friend of mine and he told me that he is now reading at IITM. There were some girls seating on the benches there on the platform, wearing some strange combination of colored dresses. Some were wearing all blue some all red …and same colored girls were seating together. Then on train everything was normal except my birthday celebration in train. There was a cake too. Then something something happens. Then I remember entering into a palace …something something happens and then there was a rebellion like thing in the palace. People were fighting and some people were playing football in the field too and it was raining too. I got too confused and I got up. But it was already 9.25 am. Some part of the dream was withheld because of its sensitive nature. Well this was not the main part of the blog. Some friends suggested me that I can write about some incidents of my life. I kinda liked this idea. So here is account in which I had the fun.

A and K were good friends and where worried about their performance in the exams. So they made a pact and signed a bond each that they will secure 80% marks. They decided the bet too and kept one copy (signed by other) with them. As usual they only made the planning and after exams they were worried. K was in no mood for fulfilling the bet and he told B (room-mate of A) to steal that paper from A for him. B found this interesting and agreed to do so. A was having some hint about this so he always kept that paper under lock. B was able to get it somehow and gave it to K. K was very happy. He told B that B was his real good friend. After sometime B starts feeling guilty that he betrayed A. He was now thinking of snitching K’s paper for A. Getting paper from K was difficult. His room was in different block. But B got the paper on the final day. Same thing happened when B gave K’s paper to A. A told him that he is his real good friend. In the evening A B and K were having snacks together and suddenly K started saying about that bet. At that B realized that both don’t know that their own papers are missing. And considering the situation B tried to get away from there. But both K and A stopped him saying that they wont tell how they get the papers. After a small stud speech and grinning both take out the papers. B has to confess…there was no way out. Both A and K, who were so pleased with B till then, were now totally angry. Ok B was me. But I don’t know why they were mad at me. I did what they wanted me to do. I still don’t get it. A and K were (still are) my good friends, so definitely I cant betray one and I had no intention of hurting anyone. A and K stopped talking with me for some days and I had to say them (both) sorry like 100 times.

But I had my fun on that evening.

First Post

2005-08-15T02:50:00.000+05:30

HI All

I am totally new to blogging. I had not read more than 4 blogs till date. But now a days i am not doing manythings. Most of the time, just chatting , orkutting and watching movies and serials. I am not a creative type of person, yet i thought in this free time i can start blogging. .. let see how far it goes... I tried thinking of various topics on which i can start my blogs but i was unable to find one for me. I will keep on thinking for a topic and in the mean time , I will just drag this one....that is "My first blog". If you are reading this one and want to suggest me any topic feel free to write it in your comments and yes you can write your "honest" opinions about this stupid blog. While suggesting the topic ...please use ur mind and be sane.

And for this post I want to add something. When i was 10 I read one small story. In that story once a king wanted to know that who is the most important person in his life. He asked many philosopher and scholars. But his querry was never statisfied properly by any answer. One day one monk came and he answered to the king that the most important person in his life is the person who is present with him at that time. This story was based was taken from one of the Leo Tolstoy's work. At that, I simply refused to accept this , thinking about the my parents, siblings and friends. I even thought that Leo Tolstoy was stupid. But this story somehow got stuck into my mind.... and slowly i came to realise that ...this is not at all stupid. Sometime I really feel that the person (by the person i dont mean the crowd around you) who is present with me at that time has most powerful influence on me atleast at that time. Give it a thought guys...because now I think Leo Tolstoy was really great.